If you are married and are worried that the relationship is not doing well, you should consider reaching out for professional help. A qualified marriage counselor will be able to provide you and your spouse advice on what steps can be taken to salvage the relationship.
No Shame in Asking for Help
There is a perceived social taboo that individuals who go to a marriage counselor are somehow weak or not able to handle their own problems. That mindset is completely wrong, if an individual had a health problem they would go to their doctor for professional help. A marriage is one of the most significant relationships an individual can have with another person and you need to be able to get professional help if there are problems before things deteriorate.
Benefits of Getting Help with Your Marriage
By having an unbiased third party hear your side of the issue and your spouse, you both may be able to reach a working solution that is acceptable to both of you. No two relationships are identical, there has to be some give and take for any marriage to succeed including yours. While speaking with the counselor you should express “how” you feel and not personally attack your spouse. By sharing your feelings and not making your spouse feel like they are causing problems, it will allow you to clear the air without making things worse.
Things to Bear in Mind When Participating in Marriage Counseling
There are a few things you should bear in mind when participating in marriage counseling.
· It is not a magic bullet. You cannot go to one counseling session and expect all of your problems to be solved. While that would be ideal in a perfect world, we do not live in a perfect world so you must temper your expectations with reality.
· Establish goals that you and your spouse want to address during counseling. It helps to have an agenda of things you want to discuss while going through counseling. This will let you and your spouse address the issues they deem important when trying to resolve whatever issues you both are facing. You should be committed to keeping an open mind and heart, by hearing out what your spouse is saying you can get a better understanding of their emotional state and why they behave the way they do.
· Realizing That Not Every Marriage Can Be Saved. This may sound cruel but there are some actions a person can do that would break all trust they have with their spouse. In these situations, you need to be prepared to move on if your spouse has committed one of those acts and counseling cannot resolve it.
While no one wants to have problems with his/her marriage, there will be times when your spouse and you will need to get professional help in order to resolve the issues. The sooner you deal with these problems the better off both you and your spouse will be, so don’t delay getting help.